Das Baby lernt gerade eine neue, der vorigen überlegene Art des Krabbelns, die über das Robben hinausgeht und den gesamten Oberkörper ohne Bodenkontakt lässt. Es hat dieses Experiment um 20:00 begonnen, ist um 21:00 eingeschlafen und seit 23:30 in der Perfektionsphase. Jetzt ist es viertel nach eins und ich meine Begeisterung über Baby-A.s neues Können macht einer gewissen Ermüdung Platz.
Archive for Juli 2009
I know that summer is basically over (I can hear it in the trees, I can feel it in the air, I can feel it in the water… season’s changing) but I have a good feeling concerning a long, warm, perfect fall. Therefore I bought a pile of clothes for fall.
A few for me and a whole pile of clothing for little-C.
Shopping clothes for kids is so much fun. I really have to stop myself before I buy too much because everything is somehow so cute. … Cute pastell-pink parka. Upper-classy student stuff (for 3 year olds. strange, but cool). Evil hello kitty. ….
You can shop for it all and much more. And you get both the feeling of „fun“ and of „accomplishment“ (because C. really needs clothes for autumn).
must not draw comics. must not plot stuff that has nothing to do with universtiy. must not ignore the important phone-calls I have to make. must not grumble.
„Shoot me, Curd“ (Did I mention that Curd, who carries a gun, is my secretary and body-guard? Which is why he of course refuses to shoot me and brings me fresh coffee instead.)
Did I mention slllight issues with concentration („Thank you Curd. That’ll be all“)? Whatever I do, I get the feeling of wasting my time as there certainly is some more pressing errand. Maybe because the important stuff in my time-planner is not as much as I thought which means I have not a problem of time but of motivation. („No, Curd. We are not going for a mountain-bike tour. Why are you turning into a mountain-biker?“… „And would you STOP doing goofy-faces?“)
Now I know why I have invited MOL. It’s not because I am a subconscious self-saboteur. It’s because I’m (sub)consciously planning to find efficent ways to force myself to finish/write my thesis. And what could be better than hiding inside your study-room with your thesis material (books, Apple, papers, stickies and all), not wanting to set only one foot outside?
What should I do first? Both kids are taken care of. A pile of papers for my dissertation awaits me as well as a book that is my tutor’s habilitation which I don’t have to read but want to but I’m not sure if it will not be demotiviating (in the sense of „How dare you show your pityful work to HIM, earthling“) but somehow I’m very interested in getting to know the way other people think and this certainly is a good way to get to know these things and anyway I’m on page 128 already.
… of course reading my tutor’s habilitation is not an urgent task and I should rather read and write for my own paper. Yet somehow I have the feeling that I’m doing my ph.d to get new knowledge, not only to get my ph.d. Therefore I simply refuse to work on my paper only because why should I ignore interesting things if I’m a ph.d-student who does her ph.d to broaden her mind. This broaden your mind idea has a very strange relation to my time is running short problem: I have so little time where I am without my kids. Therefore I really should write my thesis, not broaden my mind, in this small time-frame, I guess.
Or take care of the other stuff that I should take care of. …most of the things I should take care of are things I can’t write on my weblog because I am not one of these suckers who reveal other people’s secrets in public space but this knowledge I can’t properly share is nearly killing me. Maybe I should dig a hole in the ground and whisper it to the earth inside („King Midas has the ears of a donkey!“…. but we all know what happens then, so this isn’t an alternative either).
… did I mention that MOL is goint to arrive in our town today? I hope A. won’t hide from his mother again (He always pretends to have headaches and locks himself up in a room when she comes, leaving me with a guest who is displeased about her son hiding from her. Sometimes I think I have a talent for self-sabotage, as I was the person inviting MOL because I thought that she should see her grandkids again after more than half a year because not seeing them would make her sad. I should have more of a none-of-my-business-attitude towards so many things.
… concerning the none-of-my-business-attitude: I’m not totally sure if I want to have this. What kind of a person would you be if you didn’t care about other people’s pain and needs. But maybe one should learn that a universal attitude of loving care doesn’t work out if you have only limited time, money and nerves. Maybe you should say: There are a few people I’m responsible for. There are others I care for. And there are many others who don’t deserve being cared for. Or who someone else should care for. … This is very logical, but it’s a sickening feeling to realize that you yourself have to draw that line. And you might choose to keep people outside even if they have nowhere else to go. To keep yourself and the people you really are responsible for (like your kids and husband) safe and sane. … but, you know, I always had a dream about a time or a place where everyone could be safe. Where everyone could be home.
And I am sure that it is a good dream. That this longing to be both good and strong and giving and brave (because caring for someone often means stepping into someone else’s way) is the right thing. … you know, I am neither stupid nor romantic (well, a little). I know that there are many people who can not be helped, pleased or saved, not by me, because they don’t need something I can fulfill. Or because they are able to cope with their stuff themselves and are safe and sound and happy (happy like in sometimes happy, sometimes sad). About which I am very, very glad.
… Did I mention that our town-church’s clock is still not working properly? … or that I am very interested in some kind of roasted animal? With yummy salad? It’s really strange what different kind of stuff I can think in half an hour.
PS: the picture is me doing the monster, photographed by A. I thought it fitting.
Did I mention that the law TM works in more efficient ways than the fists of the Revenger? Who would have guessed that.
Ich würde ein Cape und eine coole Maske tragen (ich dachte an smaragdgrün) und ihnen nahebringen, dass sie ihre Pflichten verletzen und ihnen eins auf die Nase geben (*boing*), damit sie es durchschauen. Kandidaten für ein pädagogisches Gespräch mit dem Revenger:
der Verwalter von Mündelgeld, der in die eigene Tasche wirtschaftet
die Lehrerin, die keine Kinder mag
die Politiker, die nicht für das Allgemeininteresse arbeiten
der Mann, der Frau und Kinder prügelt
die Mutter, die sich nicht um ihre Kinder kümmert
… alle, die eine Aufgabe gegenüber Schutzbedürftigen übernommen haben und sie schlecht bis gar nicht erfüllen.
K. ist der Ansicht, dass eins auf die Nase nichts nützt, wo L. ihr nickend zustimmt. Doch durch einen Unfall mit einer radioaktiven Substanz, einem Smaragd und einem Gorilla steigt aus L.’s Unbewusstem der Revenger hervor und nimmt smaragdgrüne Gestalt an. *flapp-flapp* (Habe ich schon erwähnt, dass der Revenger fliegen kann?) *whooop* (Und die Sprungstiefel?) *boing* (Und dass er den Pflichtvergessenen eins auf die Nase gibt?) *whooooooo* (Geräusch des wehenden Umhangs.)