Archive for Juni 2009

Juni 29, 2009

zwei untere Schneidezähne sind durch!!!!
(Baby-A’s erste Zähnchen…)


Juni 29, 2009

Today C. kissed me on the cheek for good nights, and then she ran to her baby-sister, hugging her and joyfully crying „nii-ight!“. She was happy to go to bed. You know. Happy. To go to bed. Because she knew each and every step. The ninna-nana (Italian lullabys) CD playing while she draws something or builds something. The good-nightstory read by me. A. taking her hand, goodnight kisses and off to the bathroom. A. brushes her teeth (she brushes them herself first, but can’t yet do it only on her own ), helps her when she puts on her jammies and then they cuddle in our big bed.

My life is so much more beautiful now.

Juni 29, 2009

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog?
Why would I want to look hot in the grocery-store?

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered?
No. Too much of an effort.

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you?
I got a few fanmails (by women) who thought that my writing made me interesting or made them realize something deep. I can’t say I liked getting these e-mails as I spent hours wondering about what to write back…. if you were life-changing to someone – sure you owe her at least a few words?
Anyway they were neither creeps nor dorks.

4. Do you lie in your blog?
If I did, why would I not lie in this meme as well?
I guess I don’t lie, but I don’t share anything of importance either. No deep feelings, no hard problems, no family-tragedy, no town-gossip, no work-stories..

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog?
I’m too old for passive-aggressiveness expressed in writing.

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop?

No. But I thought about quitting because blogging is time-consuming. Then I decided that spending maybe an hour per week with blogging (blogposting, checking comments, visiting other blogs) is quite ok.

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping?

No. I for myself think I can cope with myself, my surroundings, my past and all. And I don’t believe in therapy as a solution to problems in general. Most problems require action instead of talk (and talking to friends is an important alternative as well). By which I don’t mean that psychology is fake. If one of your basic feelings is help- and hopelessness a therapy might a good idea.

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones?
I don’t get mean comments, but sure I’d delete them.

10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less?

More. I’m more interesting than my blogging-self.

11. Do you have a job?
Ph.d. And kids.

12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it?
Not my idea of a good job. Screen-light, not inter-human communication. I’d rather be paid for writing newspaper-articles or books than for blogging but even that is not my idea of a great job (though of course I’d like to get a literary book published one time).
I’m very happy about the carreer possibilities law-school offers.

13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life?
… I only read blogs of people I know. I’d like to meet everyone of them :o)

15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have?

16. Does your family read your blog?
A. does from time to time.

17. How old is your blog?
2? Maybe more.

18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care?
No. No.

19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar?
I started one with the intent to write sad poetry and sad fml-stories, but never really used it.

20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing?
No. I once bought a paper-story by a young artist/beggar/hustler because I thought it a smart way to ask for a few bucks. Couldn’t read the illogical, grammar lacking dirty story and dumped it in the wastepaperbasket when he was out of sight.

21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes?
If I earned any I would.

22. Is blogging narcissistic?

Not necessarily.

23. Do you feel guilty when you don’t post for a long time?
No. Obviously my life needed more ttention than my blog.

24. Do you like John Mayer?


25. Do you have enemies?
I guess I’m going to make one.

26. Are you lonely?


27. Why bother blogging?

To keep track of what I’ve seen, read, done.
To share and express these things.
To share ideas and trivia.
And stuff about being a mother that I’d like to share. Bascially my awe about the kids (like new teeth, crawling-abilities or cuteness)

Juni 29, 2009

(… our choices far more than our abilities….)

Juni 26, 2009

Do you know that it feels terrible if someone else has hurt someone close to you? And not only because of the pain of the person close to you…. it also hurts because of the wrong-doing of the other person. The wrong-doing itself hurts. Strange thing to feel.

Juni 26, 2009

Benj’min, we must make him cry capivi!

Juni 24, 2009

… wenn man etwas überhaupt nicht mehr durchschaut…. davon ausgehen, dass es keiner durchschaut, man es dementsprechend auch nicht weniger durchschaut als alle anderen, und weitermachen, als hätte man es unter Kontrolle? Bis man es letztlich wirklich unter Kontrolle hat.


Juni 24, 2009

I was on a killing spree a few times when I was a teen. Only to be fragged a few seconds after.
I really don’t know how these ego-shooters can fascinate someone. I got terrible adrenaline-rushes (because I felt other avatars were waiting to kill mine… and my avatar strangely felt like me) and out of nowhere bullets appeared right in my chest and everything happened too fast and out of nowhere the godlike computer-voice informed me „Cookiemaster is on a killing-spree“. You know, I just got used to crouching behind some strange wooden box and picking up health-packs when I ceased to be… because someone else was on a killing spree.
Adventure games were not my thing, either. I never got round these geekish ideas of deep-frying hamsters or reading Hamlet to a bunch of monkeys or whatever needed to be done. Therefore I got stuck eventually. And then I got my hands on the walk-through. And then I „mastered“ the game within a day because I couldn’t stop using the walk-through. Which soon seemed like a waste of time to me. Which then made me think… why should it be a waste of time to play faster (by using a walk-through) but not a waste of time to play it trial-and-error-slowly yourself? And of course both is a waste of time.

I was rather more on the strategy game side. (CivilizationII, War CraftII, Command and Conquer… these things). And even though I had deducted by sheer logic that any gaming was a waste of time… I got totally stuck in this strategy world. My Civ II cities were prospering, I had rifle-men and howitzers while my opponents were stuck with primitive knights because my science rate was soooo high and I was such a good economist that my budget was alway giving me the chance to finish „wonders of the world“ before my opponents could and of course I won the space-race (did I mention that you have Strauss‘ „Thus spoke Zarathustra“ as music for the ending sequence?). In Caesar II the emperor always promoted me and my cities had the highest cultural ratings you could imagine.
And War Craft! These elf-archers, these gremlins that could explode in the middle of your enemy’s army, and, hehe, just imagine how I launched attacks with my gremlin-submarine and oh, how my magicians just made blizzards appear on the enemy’s ogres…. my best strategy was building a defense so strong that other armies just killed themselves in the attack. Five computer opponents against me and I emerged victorious. And my team (if we played together in small groups) was usually on the winning side, too.
But somehow I found out that I spent an awful lot of time saving the orcs from being slaughtered by paladins (or vice-versa) and after a few months of addiction I deleted the game from my hard-drive. Because this whole gaming thing is very addictive. I got this … errr…. insight when I was 17.

Yet I totally understand this fascination for beauty, honour, fast glorious victories and reward for your efforts. I guess few grown-ups do when they judge so harshly upon these kids who like gaming. But just ask yourself: What chance does a kid have to prove himself in our world, in our society? I mean, the quest for a college degree just isn’t a difficult task for people of beyond average intelligence, is it?

pop music meme

Juni 24, 2009

Tha task is to name 10 „bands we shouldn’t really like because they’re so uncool and usually not really to our taste anyway, but which still make us smile when they are on. Or we even own CDs which we’ve buried somewhere deep down in our closets.“
Alright, here comes my top ten of music I really like, but which lacks any intellectuality (sorted by degree of embarassement).

10) I love this new song „Jungle drum“. It’s totally catching.
9) All the things she said (Tatu)
8.) I generally like Justin Timberlake. He’s cool an doesn’t take himself too seriously.
7) High school musical! I really like the songs (and the movie, while we’re at talking about embarrassing facts.)
6) Broken wings (Mister Mister)
5) Gackt! I love japanese pop/emo/goth music in general because it’s slightly different. I like the way they interpret European ideas/traditions and mix them with asian culture and their own ideas. (Of course I already loved it when it was not yet alternative-mainstream. I greatly liked Malice Mizer, too.)
4) You’ll be in my heart/ Dir gehört mein Herz (Phil Collins). Es ist umwerfend! Besonders die deutsche Version.
All Disney-film songs in general („Can you feel the love tonight“, „Everybody wants to be a cat“ and so on)
3)“Sweet dreams“ (Eurythmics)
2)John Bon Jovi. He’s just… I don’t know…. just…. pop music. Great.
1) Now it gets really embarrassing: the neue deutsche Welle Song „Ich eile eile im Sauseschritt und bring die Liebe mit“.

mein kleines Problem…

Juni 22, 2009

Die Zeitmanagementidee, Aufgaben nach ihren Prioritäten zu ordnen, dürfte ja bekannt sein:
1= dringend, wichtig, schwierig –> sofort selbst tun
2 = dringend, einfach –> sofort delegieren
3= kann warten, schwierig/wichtig –> später selbst machen
4= kann warten, unwichtig —> Papierkorb/nicht machen

…. das Problem daran: Sobald ich etwas mit 1 o. 3 beziffert habe, sinkt mein Interesse es zu tun rapide. So kommt es, dass 4-er-ratings (4: Fotos aufkleben, Blumen in Vasen tun, …) auf einmal wie 1-er ratings behandelt werden. Was diese an sich praktische rating-Idee ad absurdum führt.