When I went home yesterday I had some rather creepy guy always behind me ever since I had exchanged good-byes with K. He stared and sniffed and did funny faces and even took pictures of me with his mobile and kept following me and about that time I started thinking, jeez, what if ignoring him does not work out.
I’ve asked around some time ago, and most girls/women I know claim that this is normal and they don’t care and it is fun and some weird compliment, and, no, afraid, why, it is only someone big and strange following you in the dark, that’s normal. I honestly don’t think it is any of these. And I don’t think any girl really thinks so, but somehow they don’t want to be a misanthropic-afraid-sissy and this is why they claim that it is very much alright.
To be the first one not to deny it: When such things happen I do get afraid and I do not think it in any case normal, nice or fun.
The question I’m so wondering about is:
When I express my dislike of weird people following me or men shouting abusive comments on me or the such….
All men I know understand that women dislike that and none of them would tell a woman that she is a sissy because she gets afraid in situations like the one named above. Men say that it is a bad thing to molest women, and anyways, they’d gladly punch someone down for me if they could seize him etc.
On the other hand I’ve heard so many women (talking behind the back of other women, but even to their faces ) saying that a woman expressing her dislike for „abusive“ situations are sissies, because nothing did happen after all, he just wanted to frighten you a bit (how nice of him),this is normal, why bother and can’t you laugh about this idiot, this is fun (!) and anyways, have you been wearing this short skirt again?
This is an issue I’ve stumbled across so often: That women’s issues get kicked down and talked small. And not by men, but by women.
I think this really-really sucks.
And I’ve been so wondering why.
It is the very same with motherhood. Men have an understanding for it. They offer you a seat if you are pregnant, they tell you that being a young mother is very cool for the child, they try to express their appreciation for doing the housework, the child-raising and bearing. I can not speak for all women/mothers, bt my feeling was always that men in general have a positive attitude towards mothers with kids.
And women don’t. They tend to tell you that having kids is your private affair which they do not like, they say that raising kids is somehow nothing of value (even other mothers), they blame you for having a carreer or for having none, for having a husband (then you have it soooo cozy and are therefore lazy) or not (then you’re a stupid sl*t), for going out (leaving your kids alone with their father) or not (negleceting your social duties) etc. Whatever you don’t have, they’ll blame you.
This is some secret I really don’t understand. Most women share these problems of life-balance, of being handicaped due to a pregnancy and a toddler on their hand, of finding no cool job because of being female, of being verbally (or even not only that) abused because of their weakness.
But they a) don’t see it as a common problem and b) try to find blame in other women for being in a difficult situation because of being female or c) try to find blame in other women for their own sucking situation (like the housewive who blames the lawyer for going to court instead of staying with her kids.)