about things never being over

When I went for a walk with my kids today I met an old woman who was wandering around the city, obviously lost.
She told us a few thing on her mind: About chairs she sat on and wasn’t allowed to sit on, about where she is not supposed to go etc.
She spoke a wild mixture of German and Slovenian. As her Slovenian was rather easy to understand I got the idea to answer her in Russian in Carinthian dialect which sounds alike to me . Obviously it sounded familiar to her, too. I told her in my primitive Carinthian-Russian that I was walking her home now (assuming that she lived in the nearby institution). Then something troubled began to show up in her eyes and I told her in my most soothing voice that going back was the thing that we were supposed to do now.
She got angry and started to cry as I always told her to go home, not fair, mom.
Then she turned back from 4 year old to grown-up, looked at me and said: “Mom was shot by the Nazis in 41.”

cya, folks!

Surfing the web has become too time-consuming.
Yesterday I spent about 3 hours online, feeling oh-so-connected to everyone. I started my day with science. Then I decided to reward myself with websurfing. And that’s when everything was lost. A few facebook inbox-mails, a few e-mails, a few comments on weblogs and my time for scientific writing was over ere it really had begun.

That’s why I won’t be blogposting for the next 10 days.
I hope my thesis will grow in these days.

Cu
L.

PS: I wanted to buy myself a “300 the movie poster”. The one where all the young spartans gather in front of the (very gross as made of bodies) wall, looking gorgeous turning round to face the persians. Only that this poster doesn’t exist on amazon (there are 40 other 300 posters). Suckers.

irritierende Komplimente

Jeder kennt sie. Komplimente, die man immer wieder bekommt und die einen jedes Mal aufs Neue ein wenig irritieren. Worte, die anerkennend gemeint sind und irritierend (manche würden sagen beleidigend) rüberkommen.
Mein Favorit davon:
“Aber du siehst doch nicht aus wie eine Mutter.”

Ich habe zwei entzückende kleine Kinder und empfinde es als wunderschöne Aufgabe, mit ihnen zusammezusein und ihnen meine Ideale zu vermitteln. Ich mochte Kinder immer schon sehr gerne, bin eine der seltenen Ausgaben von Menschen, die so gut wie nie von Kindergeschrei und Gezupfe genervt sind, mag auch Kinder, die nicht meine eigenen sind und empfinde kindliche Anwesenheit als angenehm. Ich sehe mich als Mutter.
Das anerkennende “Aber du siehst doch nicht aus wie eine Mutter” (das irgendwie bedeuten soll, man spreche vernünftige Worte, sei schlank und wirke anziehend) bewirkt ein sehr dünnes Lächeln bei mir. Ich weiß, dass mein Gegenüber es auf mich bezogen nett meint und nur (?) generell ein Vorurteil gegen eine Gruppe hat, der ich angehöre. Aber es nervt mich. Weil ich dieser Gruppe gerne angehöre und es als wichtigen Teil meiner Identität sehe.

Was sind eure Hits in der irritierende Komplimente Parade?

P*sserei, ich kann mich nicht konzentrieren. Ein nahezu verlorener Tag für die Wissenschaft.

Was wir heute gelernt haben…

the greater the truth, the greater the libel

…

logische Konsequenz setzt bei deutscher Judikatur zuweilen aus

…

Manche Ansichten sollte man für sich behalten.

My first taekwondo training was cool.
I’m not really fit.
But: I’m fast, I’m having fun and the people are nice. =: )

In two weeks I’m going to give Kendo a try. Unless it is ingeniously perfect it doesn’t stand a chance against taekwondo.

The victory-defeat paradoxon

After a series of (small) victories one small defeat destroys my self-esteem.
It’s always like that.

Organized a small event.
Got a phone-call that a little plan is working out.
Ph.d works out.
Moved a whole crowd.
Got a notification that I have an A-grade.
Someone has not confirmed me as a friend on facebook. … ? ((( I’m a pityful worm!

First, I’m irritated (is it really possible?). Then, I’m annoyed (wtf? Me? Stupid defeat?). After a few minutes I am crushed. Of course you, stupid girl. You who has below 100 facebook friends, you who is certainly hated by many people around you, you who fails to meet people’s perceptions of ideal women, you who will never-ever finish her thesis, you whose car always breaks down, you who got caught by a neighbour doing goofy faces in the window 3 years ago, you who never looks like the movie-stars when getting up in the morning, hell, you who never-ever looks like a movie-star.

generalization warning! might contain stupid gender bias
I have a feeling that women tend to see things like that. That they tend to really-really feel their wrong-doing, their defeats, their failure to act/gain/counter while men don’t feel their defeats. They do worse stuff, they lose more important things but they don’t even feel it, don’t even realize it. In their heads they didn’t stumble even if they have been crawling the last few miles.

Men?
Men are weak.

(Did I mention my extreme like for Hugo Weaving?… I hope I spell him correctly.)

Es geht voran! (09:00)

… mühsam ernährt sich das Eichhörnchen. (10:10)
Schiff crasht mit Eisberg. Eisberg geht unter.

…. Ich bin Bill Bates so dankbar für die Möglichkeit, ganze Absätze zu verschieben. Ich kann einfach vor mich hin arbeiten und das große Ganze ignorieren und irgendwann all diese Splitter zusammensetzen. (Zugegebenermaßen habe ich auch schon eine schemenhafte Vorstellung vom großen Ganzen.)

41 Seiten ^^

43 Seiten (:( : P *hass*)

Übermorgen mache ich mein erstes Taekwondoprobetraining.
Stay tuned.